An over-amplified sense of purpose

Author: Kamna Raj Agarwalla   |   Date: 16 Jul 2017   |   Comment: 0 Share:   |     |     |  

As I watch the moth fly into the fire, I question the purpose of its very existence- pretty dumb, I think... you dear moth, are born into this insect world with the usual natural fanfare, you grow into your full glorious size and I am sure are considered beautiful in your moth world, and then as dusk falls you just dash into oblivion in the most macabre way.

I am filled with wonder… what is your purpose? This question bothers me deeply because I am perennially in search of my own objective… why have I been born into this world, what is my role, what am I supposed to achieve ! if I go by the moth story, I feel these questions are extremely foolish. I too will be dashed into anonymity without warning or recall. These rantings of my mind would then be defined as irrelevant! but I am plagued by my existence — I witness unhappiness, inequality, and human unrest. I am distressed by the dissatisfaction that surrounds me- I seem to believe that each human is born with an intent, he has a role to perform before he dies- and a legacy to leave behind. I am not religious or puritanical but the many unexplainable episodes in my life make me believe that there is an energy , a power, a creator. I believe my life is a gift and I must justify my existence.

But now I wonder- do moths in their short erratic unexplained existence have a job to complete? Do they also have a heirarchy. Do they face competition within their small simplistic relationships. Do they hope they will be missed before they burn themselves away.

my structured life, my day’s agenda, my vision of the future my whole life’s purpose, all seem to become questionable by this one mothy thought. I stare into the horizon, its endlessness seems to tell me that I must search for an answer which lies in its limitless boundaries, not one which is dashed into the ashes of nothingness.

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